The United Church pours it on

Believing that it's a step towards the privatization of water systems, the General Council of the United Church of Canada (UCC) is debating a resolution to ask its members to boycott bottled water. This page is certain that over the next few days, this resolution will be met with the usual screaming indignity of the nation's right-wing media. It's not because someone wants to stop the most vital resource in the world from ending up in the corporate trough that feeds the bully pulpit pilots, it's because the resolution is coming from the United Church of Canada.

As any true believer of the National Post, Global TV, Sun Newspapers or most talk radio can tell you, the UCC is a faggot-loving, anti-semitic socialist conspiracy. They will tell you it's no coincidence that the Church's position on water privatization, same sex marriage, AND justice for Palestinians is the same as the Canadian Union of Public Employees (CUPE), Canada's other faggot-loving, anti-semitic socialist conspiracy. For those of you scoring at home, this page is a former member of the former, and an active member of the latter.

A boycott of bottled water is a good idea, as it's the one product that best represents the dysfunction of our times: It's a public good taken for free by private companies. It's sold to people who've been brainwashed by media accounts that just like flying (or anything that isn't shopping) North American tap water isn't safe. Also, it comes in containers which will litter the planet for future generations. Unfortunately, the taps won't be turned off for the bottled water barons anytime soon because big media wants to keep anyone who speaks truth to power from spilling anything really important.