That's it. I'm out of here.

This page is on hiatus. For those of you scoring at home, hiatus is a Latin word, meaning can't be bothered to post while on vacation. Regular episodes resume in August.


Out of Order

Former New Brunswick Lieutenant-Governor Gilbert Finn is the latest member of the Order of Canada to return his honours after Dr. Henry Morgentaler was named to the Order last week.

For those of you scoring at home, should this page ever be admitted to The Order of Canada, be assured that I would enthusiastically decline the plaque, polyester sash and discount coupon book. Like our elected dictatorship of a parliamentary government, the condescending relationship with First Nations, and our doddering, bankrupt Head of State holed up across the Atlantic in Buckingham Palace, The Order is another elitist, morally bankrupt holdover from Canada's imperial/colonial past. Real democracies don't hand out pseudo-knighthoods to so-called 'betters' like Brian Mulroney and Conrad Black.

If Dr. Morgentaler wants to keep his O.C., fine. If people like Flynn weren't listening, thought they were being admitted into the Order of Catholic, and are now so pissed off they want to toss back their O.C., that's fine too. This country just turned 141, and we're still taking orders from Rome and Westminster. Grow up.


Don't tear up your bus pass

The price of oil dropped $4.77 per barrel on the New York Stock Exchange earlier today.

With the price of the crude oil contracts trading at about $137 per barrell, that works out to about a possible 3% reduction in the price of oil over the long term, barring any circumstances that would lead to speculation, like, I don't know, an election, competing demands from other countries like China or India, or some place getting cold in the winter.

Remember when the U.S. government adopted a 55 MPH speed limit to conserve gasoline? If they could control the speed of information and create a few more slow news days, maybe gas prices would continue dropping.


Dead on the Fourth of July

Today is the Fourth of July, Independence Day: Americans across the United States will be celebrating today. Parades, picnics, baseball games and fireworks are the order of the day. This page wishes his stateside counterparts an enjoyable long weekend, particularly in that many of them will actually be celebrating the death of Jesse Helms.

Conversely, this must be a tragic day for the friends and supporters of Senator Helms. Gays and Lesbians will now be free to lead their lives as "weak, morally sick wretches." American tax dollars can be "used to pay for grade-school classes that teach our children that cannibalism, wife-swapping and murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior." However, for those Southern-fried troglodytes, those horrors pale in comparison to the possibility that a Black man could be elected President in November.


Four Horsemen & a Dead Mermaid

Starbucks' is closing 600 U.S. locations, blaming the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the fuel crisis, and every other crisis short of the 'people no longer willing to pay $5 for a cup of cofee' crisis or the 'way too many Starbucks' locations to begin with' crisis'. Surely, the fact that the number of Starbucks' locations is going down, rather than up, is a sign of the Ameripocalypse.

Assume the position, repent, or just brew your own like this page does.