Letters from our editors

It's become apparent from recent correspondence that people are visiting this site and reading my pithy little diatribes: maybe I should get a hit counter. Today I'll respond to some of the recent feedback. Note: any resemblance to these letter writers and actual persons living or dead is purely your own damn fault.

Lorne in the West End writes: "Dear Bear604, you are nothing but a malicious sock puppet for big labour and the NDP. If I find out who you are I'll sue your ass off!"

Dear Lorne: If a guy waits three days to call the police because he's afraid of an underfed bum, how's he going to take on a malicious sock puppet?

Peter in Surrey writes: "Dear Bear604, Gordon Campbell and the BC Liberals have turned around our economy and our leading this province towards a Golden Decade of prosperity. Most major media outlets in British Columbia have been telling the good news stories about the New Era, Why aren't you?"

Dear Peter: I'm still waiting for the Canwest Global people to leave the briefcases filled with nonsequential unmarked bills at my secure location. Until that happens, the Liberals get what they deserve.

Adrienne on the Sunshine Coast writes: "Your site is sorely lacking coverage of the Green Party! Your readers deserve a closer look at our party and its plans for the 2005 election."

Dear Adrienne: You're absolutely right - my readers DO deserve a closer look at what an opportunistic, union-hating, vote-splitting suck-up you are. Thanks for the great advice!

Spartacus in East Vancouver writes: "Professional sports are little more than the bread and circusses of the American corporate empire. Your frequent mention of them in your blog brands you a hypocrite".

Dear Spartacus: Does this mean you're not doing any Mariners' games with me this season? Damn it, who do I split the jumbo garlic fries with now?

The Editorial Board of National Lampoon writes: "Letters from our Editors is our gag. Cease and desist, or we will be forced to take legal action."

Dear Board: I'm sorry, I can't make out your message, and now I gotta go...