Greatest Hits: Disc Two

The rest of a look back at 2005.

On the Telus lockout, September 6:

"Given that Telus is looking for the right to fire and contract out anyone and everyone without cause or notice and bypass any notion of negotiation, mediation, or arbitration to get their way, the retail value of McCarthur's claim can easily be calculated by placing one's index finger to one's thumb and applying substantial pressure. "

On Hurricane Katrina, September 7:

"I would like to announce my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States (pause for emphasis)...My platform is simple - I will run on the pledge to not go on vacation during the month of August. "

On Carole Taylor's new shoes, September 14:

"While the syncophanterati were getting their foot fetish on, Taylor was heard to pun "This budget's got sole!" Tee hee. Of course this comes from a woman who in her CBC days thought the Royal Air Canadian Air Face was funny....Oh...and hardballing the Canadian Media Guild. She thought that was funny too."

On Emergency Preparedness and Government Priorities, September 22:

"Tax cuts and higher dividends on our mutual funds are not going to protect us from disaster, and the invisible hand of the markets won't be pulling me out from under what's left of my condo."

On the installation of Michaele Jean as Governor-General, September 27:

"The ceremony itself, which was big on touchy-feelyisms and folksingers wandering the Senate aisles, reminded me of those weddings where the couple writes their own vows, and the best man gets a phone call at 3:00 AM before the ceremony asking "Dude, what rhymes with radiant?""

On parent opposition to the BC Teachers Strike, October 24:

"To those parents who bitched and moaned like their kids were the only ones being inconvenienced, especially the ones who lined up to get on camera so they could parrot the Lieberal bullsh*t about "respecting the law" and "setting a good example", here's a news flash: Even before last week's settlement, the average teacher in BC probably made enough money to purchase a television, and more than likely caught your bitchy little act at 6:00 or 11:00. When the next parent-teacher interviews roll around, here's hoping a waste of skin like you gets exactly what you deserve."

On the possibility of a holiday election, November 14:

"If tens of thousands of Ukrainians could camp outside in downtown Kiev in December to achieve a democratic result, then flipping channels between the Leaders Debate and 'It's a Wonderful Life' isn't asking for much."

On Sam Sullivan and the NPA, November 17:

"Sullivan's campaign has appealed to no-one but the obnoxious, me-firsters who infect Vancouver who bitch about the growing number of bicycles on city streets and the lack of places their untrained attack dogs can run around and terrorize small children. The only "leadership" principles Sullivan appears to grasp are NIMBY (Not In My Backyard) and TINA (There Is No Alternative)."

On Alberta, December 13:

"As much as Quebec has a reputation for being the prodigal/spoiled child of Confederation, Alberta is starting to come on like the two-year old being dragged out of 'Toys R Us'. Sorry, but decisions at the federal level (including all the stupid ones) are made according to this country's democratic traditions, not the price of West Texas Crude. "

On the Leaders Debate, December 17:

"The Notwithstanding Clause remains as the Elephant in the room, while Martin, Layton and Duceppe are stuffing Harper's pants with peanuts."

As the clock ticks down on 2005, The Bear 604 Show wishes you a Happy New Year!!