Greatest Hits: Disc One

My look back at 2005...

On right-wing fundamentalists seeking BC Liberal nominations, January 12:

"People will tolerate a certain amount of bullsh*t, which the Campberals have shovelled out consistently for the past four years, if it means keeping the scary NDP boogeyman on the Opposition benches. However, once a side of hate-mongering is added to many British Columbians' serving of bullsh*t, the boogeyman starts to come off looking pretty reasonable."

On same-sex marriage, January 21

"Of all the non-issues that drive me to fits of eye-rolling annoyance, the one that has kept the retinas spinning the most lately is the same-sex marriage debate. The Conservatives, no doubt sweaty, giddy and breathless from watching hours of porn (i.e. the Bush inauguration) on Fox News Canada yesterday, are once again looking to divide this country over the issue of whether or not two people of the same gender can book a caterer and get a few invitations printed. "

On both 'Fahrenheit 9/11' and 'The Passion of the Christ' being passed up for Best Picture nominations at the Oscars, January 25:

"Moore beat out Spider-Man for a People's Choice award: I wanna see how he'd do up against Jesus!"

On the cancellation of 'Star Trek: Enterprise', February 3:

"Sure, Enterprise might have recycled the same elements that have orbited around the Star Trek universe since the late 60's, but in a cultural galaxy that's more marked by the juvenile, the brutal, the vain and the insipid every season, a lot of us related to Star Trek better than we ever will to 'Reality' TV."

On accusations of CUPE BC disseminating anti-Israel propaganda at UBC, February 7:

"That's right, Professor Stein, with a provincial election and a critical round of bargaining on the way this year, the CUPE members in Locals 2950, 2278, and 116 who work at UBC are more concerned about having enough copies of "Tear Down the Wall" to hand out with "The Protocols of Zion" to give to unsuspecting students during Frosh week. "

On a Chinese New Year encounter with Jenny Kwan, February 8:

"For the Lai Tsi, I wished her a happy 4702 and said I'd see her in cabinet. She winked at me and playfully punched me on the arm. Given that the Vancouver Sun has come down with a case of pre-election editorial rabies, it was fortunate that none of their attack dogs masquerading as journalists were around, otherwise the headline probably would have read "NDP MLA BRIBES, HARASSES, PUNCHES CONSTITUENT"."

On the Speech From the Throne, Feburary 9:

"If there's anyone I came away from the goings on in Victoria yesterday with a newfound respect for, it's Lieutenant-Governor Iona Campagnolo. Anybody who can sit in front of 79 MLAs, the media, and anyone watching on TV, and read out that the government is committed to increasing the fruit and vegetable intake of British Columbians by 20% while keeping a straight face, is obviously something special."

On Lorne Mayencourt getting beat up by a panhandler, March 3:

"I hope Mayencourt wasn't seriously hurt, but I also hope he was hurt enough to make the realization that if you bash the poor long enough, the poor bash back."

On the death of Pope John Paul II, April 4:

"While I've never agreed with the Catholic Church's position with...well, anything, quite a few people vented their spleens about what a distant octogenarian thought of abortion and same sex marriage... He chose the dogma of the Roman Catholic Church, and the worst he could have done to anyone who disagreed with him was not let them be Catholic anymore."

On Gordon Campbell and the NDP's 'secret agenda', April 21:

"It's kind of sad that only a few days into the campaign, Campbell is already reduced to potshots and fear-mongering about the big, bad unions and their secret agenda. However, it's also damned funny, coming from the pinhead who brought us such articles of faith as "I don't believe in tearing up collective agreements", "I will not sell BC Rail", "No officer, I haven't been drinking..."

On the polarization of the blogosphere, April 27:

"The truth is, you either polarize or someone polarizes you: after the second time I was legislated back to work, the fourth overheard conversation about a gay-bashing, and the fifth completely motionless homeless person I saw lying prone on East Hastings, I completely gave up on trying to see the other side of the issue."

On the value of TV debates, May 4:

"Yesterday afternoon I received a call from NDP HQ inviting me to a 'Debate Victory' breakfast in Burnaby this morning. Given that just last fall we saw John Kerry out-debate George Bush only to be buried by an avalanche of negative TV ads in swing states, some of us would prefer to hold the pancakes of triumph until May 18."