The next big thing will kill us all!

Since Lyndon Johnson's 'War on Poverty' in the 1960's, America has fought more than a few wars against intangible enemies with very intangible results. The War on Drugs didn't really work out so well for the Reagan Administration, no matter how many times Nancy told us to "Just say no". The Bush White House continues to struggle miserably with the War on Terror, trying to ship as much of it as possible to the Middle East where annoying obstacles like the Constitution don't exist. Is there an abstract enemy out there that can rally Americans and continue to generate returns for Boeing, Halliburton and Johnson Controls? Yes, there is: Killer Asteroids from Outer Space, or as you'll soon know them, KAOS!

Already, some scientists are studying the possibility of a War on KAOS. These experts may not believe that the problem of giant rocks smashing into the Earth is best handled by maximum ordinance and extreme prejudice, but it shouldn't take long before a little political and media spin gets the public to demand that America nukes these rocks back where they came from. Everyone would be watching the skies and tuned to the latest "KAOS" alerts. Flags would fly in every window as if the Stars and Stripes could protect Americans the same way they saved the country from Al-Qaida after 9/11. Karl Rove could get his groove back, and a new Republican President could warn other world leaders in his State of Union address that "You're either with us, or you're with the Asteroids".