Arrogant Ignorant Dumbass Stephen

Stephen Harper and Tony Clement don't want their Conservative government to do anything to help fight AIDS right now, because they feel the issue has become "too politicized".

Remember Canada's last Conservative Prime Minister? If you're scoring at home, it wasn't Brian Mulroney. During the 1993 election campaign she remarked that it "was not the right time" to talk about social issues. Harper's refusal to act continues those Tory traditions of ignorance and arrogance: Refusing to acknowledge the public's stake in an issue, and their own accountability by branding it as "too political". If you're so afraid of doing anything political, why did you get into politics?

What's particularly disgusting with Harper's latest dirty handwashing is the fact that hundreds of Downtown Eastside users of the Insite program and their neighbours (like this page) are directly affected. Insite's exemption to the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act ends on September 12. If the Harper Conservatives are intent on playing to their backwater holier-than-thou zealot partisans, Insite is forced to close, and a lot of addicts will be going back to shooting up with dirty needles on the street, and risk spreading HIV among themselves and the neighbouring community.

That's a disgusting prospect, but what's also disgusting is a government that comes out and says that we're deliberately sitting on our hands while lives are at stake because a few people who don't like us are meeting in Toronto. Here's some breaking news for Conservatives: MOST PEOPLE ACROSS CANADA DON'T LIKE YOU. You only have a MINORITY government because people know what a bunch of self-righteous pr*cks you are, not because you cater this country's MINORITY of self-righteous pr*cks.

The United Church pours it on

Believing that it's a step towards the privatization of water systems, the General Council of the United Church of Canada (UCC) is debating a resolution to ask its members to boycott bottled water. This page is certain that over the next few days, this resolution will be met with the usual screaming indignity of the nation's right-wing media. It's not because someone wants to stop the most vital resource in the world from ending up in the corporate trough that feeds the bully pulpit pilots, it's because the resolution is coming from the United Church of Canada.

As any true believer of the National Post, Global TV, Sun Newspapers or most talk radio can tell you, the UCC is a faggot-loving, anti-semitic socialist conspiracy. They will tell you it's no coincidence that the Church's position on water privatization, same sex marriage, AND justice for Palestinians is the same as the Canadian Union of Public Employees (CUPE), Canada's other faggot-loving, anti-semitic socialist conspiracy. For those of you scoring at home, this page is a former member of the former, and an active member of the latter.

A boycott of bottled water is a good idea, as it's the one product that best represents the dysfunction of our times: It's a public good taken for free by private companies. It's sold to people who've been brainwashed by media accounts that just like flying (or anything that isn't shopping) North American tap water isn't safe. Also, it comes in containers which will litter the planet for future generations. Unfortunately, the taps won't be turned off for the bottled water barons anytime soon because big media wants to keep anyone who speaks truth to power from spilling anything really important.

Recommended Check-in time for YVR travelers: now

Employees of Securigard, the company that handles security at Vancouver International Airport, have voted 98% in favour of strike action, potentially shutting down YVR. Their Union, the International Association of Machinists & Aerospace Workers (IAM) cites working conditions as the biggest issue in this dispute.

While the strike vote was already being planned by the news of last week's alleged terror plot in London, that incident did illustrate the importance of having trained, professional security staff at airports across the country. If the airport is the United States, the airport has federal agents from the Transportation Security Agency running security. In Canada, the work of protecting the flying public is contracted out to private companies with a vested interest in keeping costs (especially labour) as low as possible. Why are the people charged with stopping another 9/11 from taking place over Canadian skies treated no differently than shopping mall security guards?

If Securigard staff are expected by their employer and the Canadian Air Transport Security Authourity (CATSA) to handle increasing volumes of volatile passengers carrying apparently volatile materials, they should be getting a level of respect to match the difficulty of the job. America's TSA agents are being subjected to cutbacks from Homeland Security in a drive reprivatize aiport security. When does the race to the bottom start bringing down passenger jets?

Survey says....bye!

Some of Canada's most prominent Universities have told MacLean's they will no longer be participating in the magazine's annual University rankings. This page says it's about time, and it's a good time since MacLean's has undergone an editorial makeover which makes the National Post look like The New Internationalist.

The rankings have never worked, throwing disproportionate praise on old money schools like Queens and McGill and trashing the relatively newer kids on the block like Simon Fraser and Calgary. To win the MacLean's survey, a school needs to have lots of well-heeled alumni and a three-year Arts degree. Schools that relied more on reduced public funding in the face of increasing enrollment perpetually rank further down the list.

Students are repeatedly told that some kind of post-secondary education is essential to survive in today's job market. In the face of a sizeable demographic shift, employers are desperate to recruit new talented and educated staff. If such is the case, is it not in the country's best economic interest to create a national University system which has schools cooperating rather than competing to develop those talented and educated individuals? Canada needs all of its Universities doing whatever it is they're best at, and it needs to be accessible to students, rather than a race to the bottom for research grants and tuition fees.

The MacLean's rankings of Universities are as instructive as the Fraser Institute's rankings of high schools: both are manipulative attempts to destroy public education by making it a commodity. This page is happy to see the Universities boycott, and would also like to see a University release rankings for which Canadian magazines the public should bother with.

When the Lights Went Out

While everyone is gearing up for 9/11 Plus Five in just a few weeks, let's not forget that three years ago today, a major blackout cut power to about 50 million people across the U.S. Northeast and Ontario. While by no means was the blackout as catastrophic as a terrorist attack, it did have its own iconic moments (like volunteer traffic cops showing up at every intersection). Actually, given time, some moments have become even more meaningful, like Bill Graham appearing on The National cluelessly standing outside in the dark...The blackout also briefly raised the issue of energy privatization and consumption. At the time, too many private producers were overloading the continental electrical grid for too many people using too many air conditioners. Today...more of the same, and it's reached the point where Ontario now uses more electricity during the summer than they do during the winter months*.

However, that message was heard in places like British Columbia, where, despite some dickering with independent production, publicly-owned BC Hydro keeps rates down by aggressively encouraging conservation through such initiatives as the Power Smart program: Less profit motive, less consumption. After the blackout, plans to push further privatization were quietly shelved, especially when higher profile industries like Forest Products warned of mill closures throughout BC if electric bills started to jump. While Utilities can't guarantee there won't be any more blackouts, in BC it's because BC Hyrdo can't control the forces of nature, like high winds knocking out power lines. For other utilities, it's the forces of the market they can't control, and the manual has yet to be written about how to fix that kind of damage.

*The Weather Network

Carry-on liquids prohibited, solids and gases to follow

Just in time for U.S. Congressional Elections and the release of Oliver Stone's World Trade Center, British authourities announce they have shut down production of the sequel. This page is taking the official rhetoric about preventing a catastrophe worse than 9/11 with a grain of salt. Remember, it wasn't long ago that 17 Islamic Terrorists were about to reduce Toronto to a smoking cinder until it became apparent that they were a bunch of kids who were duped by the RCMP. You don't need a movie ticket to see the September 11 story retold, because the same stupidity is playing out in public once more. Rather than do something to actually prevent terrorist attacks (like chucking a foreign policy based on SUV sales and the Book of Revelations), the Just Us League of Hysteria are wrongfully taking the fight to the airport check-in counter, again.

The ban of liquid items in carry-on baggage is not about making passengers safer, it's about to intimidating passengers to make governments look like they're in control. They can't stop the Iraqi insurgency, they can't shut down Al-Qaida, but they can make you take off your shoes, have people go through your belongings, and frisk you with an electronic wand. If you can think of any other place where people submit to this kind of activity, you're probably reading this while wearing a jumpsuit with a number on it...or a raincoat.

Actually, the Powers that Be could actually care care less about your security. The Seattle Times reported this week that a three-hour backlog at the border crossing in Blaine, Washington was waved through because an inspection team from the Congressional Homeland Security Committee was on its way. Also this week, The Globe and Mail's Lawrence Martin revealed that Stephen Harper had a charter pilot fired for backing up a flight attendant who asked the Prime Minister to switch off his blackberry just before takeoff.

Remember these two illustrations when you're paying $15.00 for a tiny bottle of hand lotion or $5.00 for a bottle of water to keep from dehydrating on a long flight because they won't let you bring your own anymore. You might be able to barter something with cigarettes or a lighter, because those items weren't even prohibited after 9/11, thanks to your friends in the tobacco lobby. Temporary measures, you say? Wasn't the occupation of Iraq supposed to last six months? Weren't Canadian troops supposed to be home from Afghanistan by now? Wasn't income tax supposed to be repealed after the First World War?

Ask your Doctor

Next weekend the Canadian Medical Association meets in Charlottetown to select its new President. The CMA represents 60,000 doctors and is pretty much the only health care lobby federal and provincial governments listen to, despite the fact that Canada's health care system involves millions of nurses, health care technicians, physical and occupational therapists, administrators, support workers, unionized residents, medical students, and that troublesome group nobody ever listens to called patients.

Brian Day is the British Columbia Medical Association's nominee for the CMA Presidency. Brian Day sees nothing wrong with private, for-profit health care. Brian Day likes to compare Canada's universal public health care system with totalitarian regimes like North Korea and the former Soviet Union. Brian Day wants to perform the same kind of surgery on Medicare that Stepehen Harper is performing on Childcare.

Fortunately, someone from the usually closed CMA ranks is offering a much-needed Second Opinion and will challenge Day on the Convention floor. Dr. Jack Burak is a former BCMA President who challenged Day for the BC nomination in April, but fell short. Of course Gordon Campbell took Day on a high profile mission to "investigate" European health care systems, and softpedalled the moratorium on private clinics by letting them set up shop in hospital "Ambulatory Care Centres" like the one coming to VGH this fall. The Brian Days of the world hate public health care, but they sure love public money to bankroll private health care.

Day is crying foul over Burak's challenge, claiming that it's "undemocratic". Apparently, it's democratic that Day gets to be President just because it's British Columbia's turn to pick the President. Day says that Burak losing at the BCMA then trying to come back and win over the 300 delegates in Charlottetown is "disrespectful of the democratic process", like something in North Korea or Cuba. For the record Dr. Day: Democracy happens when people exercise their rights, not when they shut up and follow along in whatever direction they're being bullied. If Day insists on an analogy, maybe he should use Connecticut instead.

This page has homework for anyone who clicked in here today: Book an appointment to see your doctor. Ask your doctor who they're supporting for the CMA Presidency, and ask them why. There's no time like now to remind doctors that in a real democracy, the majority should prevail, and that majority is a Canadian public that needs a Canadian Public Health Care System.

Are we headed for WWII?

Another War in the Woods is shaping up on Vancouver Island, as a provincially-appointed board has approved logging of 90,000 hectares of pristine forest in Clayoquot Sound.

So much for a quiet summer for Gordon Campbell and the BC Liberals. Contracts with public sector unions had been ratified, The GVRD was starting to play ball on the Gateway Project, and Carole James was out of sight recovering from cancer surgery. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, the Liberal bagmen from Big Timber felt it was too quiet and opted to pick a fight with BC's well organized and media savvy environmental movement.

The decision to poke through loopholes in the 2000 United Nations Biosphere Reserve agreement and fire up the chainsaws makes little to no sense. The Clayoquot Sound Central Region Board, i.e. the Big Timber operatives who made the decision, are hiding behind First Nations and claiming that impending treaties mean that sooner or later, somebody will be logging there anyway. Nothing spells gutless like dishing out back handed blame for an international disgrace well in advance.

Why does BC need to export even more raw logs from pristine watersheds? Has there been any real consultation with First Nations beyond the 5 Aboriginal Central Region Board members who represent 14 tribes on the island? Does BC really want Greenpeace and other eco-warriors rushing to the blockades (and the microphones) with the 2010 Winter Olympics and a worldwide audience on the way?

Hold your breath

The Ontario Medical Association predicts that smog-related deaths among seniors will nearly double over the next 20 years. The Baby Boomers who reaped the economic benefits of post-World War II industrial expansion and never met a gas pedal they didn't like are clearly at the wrong end of the tailpipe on this one.

One would think that subsequent generations would have been wise to avoid making the unhealthy and wasteful mistakes of the past. However, when it comes to the children of boomers and their favourite toys, it appears this would not be the case.

Los Buitres de Miami


While Fidel Castro recovers from intestinal surgery, the Republicubans in Miami are dancing in the streets. Scanning the CNN footage, this page was hard pressed to find anyone who resembled (i.e. was old enough) to be a Cuban exile. This crowd looked more like second or third generation gamberros who've seen Buena Vista Social Club a few too many times and believe the ancianos' right-wing fantasies of a pre-Castro paradise. For those of you scoring at home, this page has never been to Cuba, nor was this page alive in 1959. However, I still cast my doubts as to how much of a paradise a military dictatorship owned by the Mafia and United Sugar would be.

For most of the world, Fidel turning the shop over to his brother for a few weeks isn't exactly registering as long as Israel continues to sucker-punch Lebanon and pretend it's Iran. However, if one is watching CNN, MSNBC, or Fox News, Castro's operation is major news because of the concentration of Cuban Americans in Miami. If Sweden or Denmark had a Communist dictatorship whose leader was hospitalized, it's not like the cameras would be turned on jubilation in Minneapolis-St. Paul. If one thinks back to how the Republicubans inflamed the Elian Gonzalez case, we see that what international stories make the news in America depend on how they affect the noisiest ethnic voting blocs in the biggest swing states.

This page is not comfortable with people cheering for the ill health of an 80-year old man. By no means are Castro's hands clean, but he has built impressive education and health care systems: how else could he still be running the country at his age? Until Hugo Chavez showed up, Cuba was the only counterweight to American hegemony in the Western Hemisphere. Why are the Republicubans so jubilant when there are no guarantees that a post-Castro Cuba would be better? What exactly do people in Florida know about free and fair elections, or for that matter, human rights abuses in Cuba?

Summer reruns

Our story so far - Israel is attacked by Hezbollah rockets and their soldiers are kidnapped. All intelligence indicates that Hezbollah are backed by Iran, so Israel retaliates by attacking Lebanese civilians. The Israelis then claim that they're not interested in a lengthy occupation. This episode seems really familiar. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this page remembers seeing the U.S. attacked by Al-Qaida agents, most of whom were from Saudi Arabia, and America retaliated by hitting Afghanistan and Iraq. And weren't the Americans going to hand control back to the locals really soon? It's either the same show, or just the same plot with a few different characters.

Another episode I saw had Ontario Conservative MP Garth Turner stating that after evacuating thousands of Canadian citizens from Lebanon, Ottawa should take a serious look at redefining and categorizing citizenship rights. The ratings for Turner's musings were substantial, gathering more attention than "The One: Making of a Music Star". This page is pretty sure that this particular story may have been aired a long time ago, but we definitely saw this one before too.

You pick who you want, we pick who we want

China threw a tantrum this week at Canada's Parliament over the honourary citizenship granted to Tenzin Gyatso, a.k.a. His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Despite his humanitarian work, adoration from millions of Buddhists, and repeated overtures to open a dialogue with the Butchers of Beijing, the Communist regime still regards His Holiness as a security threat and a "separatist", not someone who should join Nelson Mandella and Raoul Wallenberg in receiving this honour from the House of Commons.

This page is extremely skeptical that Counsel Zheng Weidong, in calling down the House of Commons for praising a "separatist", actually took a look at the people sitting in the House of Commons. Zheng could have realized that in THIS country, we don't deal with differences of opinion by running them over with a tank or sending them to forced labour camps.

It's not like Canada ever criticizes China for who they grant honourary citizenship. Who would want it?

A Rainbow cracks in Olympia

By a 5 to 4 margin, the Washington State Supreme Court upholds the 1998 'Defence' of Marriage Act (DOMA).

This verdict, and the local media coverage surrounding it, is a striking illustration of the cultural divide that still exists between Canada and the United States, even relatively progressive states like Washington. It appears that my regular visits to Seattle, poking through Left Bank Books and leafing through The Stranger mislead me to believe that the Evergreen State was a progressive oasis in an otherwise reactionary American desert.

For all the huffing and puffing about same-sex marriage in Canada, the issue was never more than a means for Stephen Harper and Co. to assure Prairie diehards that the new Conservatives hadn't lost their Reform Party roots. Everyday Canadians treated it as a non-issue. By contrast, once the State Supreme Court announced they were about to rule, Seattle TV stations acted like this wedge issue was about to wedge open the gates of heaven (or hell) and exhorted viewers that the first/best place to experience Wednesday's rapture was KIRO, KOMO, KING, or Q13.

The ruling itself screams 'Appeal', as it flies in the face of the privileges and immunities clause of Washington's state constitution. DOMA denies a benefit (marriage) to a specific group (gays & lesbians), but Justice Barbara Madsen, one of the majority, believes that the plaintiffs could not prove that gays are members of a "suspect class", ie. an identifiable group entitled to protection against discrimination. In a bigoted nutshell, not only are gays and lesbians prevented from marrying in Washington State, they don't really exist there either.

Oooh..Aaah...OW! @#$!*!

The Offshore Bank Celebration of Fight...er...Light begins tonight at English Bay.

For the longest time, Vancouver's movers and shakers have lived in terror of being labeled "No Fun City". There was much wailing and gnashing and teeth when the precious Molson Indy took off and touched down at the Edmonton Municipal Airport, but the truth is the Indy was a toxic celebration of testosterone, gasoline, alcohol, sexism and noise that said nothing about Vancouver.

The much-beloved fireworks are no better. This page may not be heard over the explosions and the roar of the thousands who descend on English Bay, but the Celebration of Light is an overhyped, undermanned, and dangerous event that should have been sent packing years ago. For 20 minutes of fireworks, spectators are treated to hours of bad behaviour and the worst event management this side of Beirut.

It is not 'fun' when drunken underage kids scream obscenities throughout the West End and they redefine "fighting the crowds". It is not 'fun' when' rednecks use the fireworks as an excuse to swoop in from the Valley to go fag-bashing (the fireworks unfortunately coincide with Vancouver's Pride Festival). It is not 'fun' when Vancouver Police consider three stabbing deaths as acceptable for a gathering of this size. This page is certain they won't react the same way if the same number go down on the streets during the 2010 Winter Olympics.

It is not 'fun' when taxpayers in Vancouver are forced to foot the bill for cleanup and police overtime when residents from elsewhere in the Lower Mainland cause most of the trouble. When 'Celebration' organizers start promoting the fireworks as an alcohol-free event and Translink admits that rerouting a few buses on fireworks nights is not extra transit service, this page may consider going back one of these years. Until then, this page is content to skip the late night pyrotechnic idiocy and enjoy A REAL CELEBRATION OF LIGHT.

Do the Math: A million Calgarians can be wrong

Sometime this week, the population of the City of Calgary will reach one million. In fact, this page saw an item in yesterday's Globe & Mail where a Cowtown PR hack had declared Calgary the third largest city in Canada behind Toronto and Montreal (if one doesn't count the much larger populations of Metro Ottawa or Greater Vancouver). For those of you scoring at home, no one in Vancouver loses only sleep over the fact that Surrey will be the largest city in British Columbia within a few years.

As regular readers are aware, this page has issues with Calgary. Calgary produced Ralph Klein and Stephen Harper. Calgary cheered on scabs during the 1999 Herald strike. Calgary turned its downtown into an armed camp during the 2000 World Petroleum Congress and the 2003 G8 Summit. Calgary bought a tank for its police department. Calgary is what the Bush administration wants Iraq, and pretty much the rest of the world to look like. Calgary is a grandstanding right-wing bully that seriously needs its oversized ass kicked.

Which brings this page to the "biggest" problem about Calgary: by virtue of the farmland and small towns the city has devoured over the past few decades, Calgary is actually the biggest city in Canada. Calgary's million residents sprawl themselves over 701.79 square kilometres* for a population density of 1424 per square kilometre. By contrast, poor little Vancouver can fit about 600,000** into 114.67 square kilometres*, for a density of 5232 per square kilometre.

How can Vancouver fit almost five times the people in the same space? Almost a quarter of us don't own a car, which causes things to be built at a human scale, not an automobile scale. Vancouver may be fenced in by mountains, the ocean, and neighbouring cities, but we also stopped singing "Don't Fence Me In" a long time ago. Size isn't everything, cowboys.

*Statscan

**2006 Projection extrapolated from Statscan

Campbell still alive, Globe columnist, Premier

Today's Globe & Mail features a guest column (unable to link as it's subscriber only) from the Premier advising readers not to "forget taxpayers in any new fiscal federalism". While everyone's favourite drunk driving supply-side sociopath is shilling for more tax cuts in the pages of Canada's National Newspaper (tm), Campbell has the gall to use the term "working families" as the chief beneficiaries of bleeding vital public services further just to have a few more nickels to rub together.

In the 2001 Leaders Debate, Campbell literally choked on the term "working families" as it figured prominently in the NDP campaign, mumbling his way around to saying "BC families". As Campbell advocates the same kind of fiscal stupidity for the rest of the country, it's obvious that Campbell has recast "working families" to mean people like the Campbells (and their elitist circle) as opposed to families made up of actual working people.

Drink plenty of fluids, and keep filling the gas tank

B.C. is at the tail end of a heat wave that brought out the usual advice from local mediots about drinking plenty of water, putting on sunblock, and staying in the shade.

Despite the corresponding Air Quality warning from the GVRD, at no time was it ever suggested on TV, radio, or in the papers over the past few days by anyone that it would be a good idea to PUT DOWN THE CAR KEYS and walk, bicycle, or take transit if one needed to go anywhere. Did it ever occur to anyone that the cars' exhaust, congestion, and heat rage turning into road rage make an uncomfortable situation way more uncomfortable?

Nope - hop in the car, drive the nearest big box store, grab an energy-gorging air conditioner, and hit the drive-thru on the way home. "Never let the facts get in the way of the story?" More like "Never let public health get in the way of our advertisers".

Seriously Hooped


Basketball makes the local news this week on two fronts. Victoria's Steve Nash, the NBA's most valuable player, returns to BC this week for Saturday's Steve Nash Charity Classic at Automobile Manufacturer Place. This page has always been annoyed at the local media's treatment of the Phoenix Suns' point guard. Nash is a thinking person's superstar, and he has a hell of a lot more important things to talk about than his haircut or whether he'd rather be playing soccer.

Also this week and just down the I-5, a group of Oklahoma City investors bought the Seattle Supersonics (plus the WNBA Seattle Storm) from Starbucks' Grande Barista Howard Schultz. It appears that after building new digs for Baseball's Mariners and the NFL's Seahawks, the Emerald City is a little tapped out on the bread and circusses front. With that knowledge, the OKC group has committed to nothing beyond a 12-month cup of coffee before taking the Sonics home with them. As a former Vancouver Grizzlies season ticket holder, this page advises Seattle basketball fans to just be thankful that new boss Clay Bennett won't be signing the national anthem before tip-off.

I've got your good side right here.


"Yeah...that's it baby...look all sad and wistful. Get all wistful and mopey about your great great great....great uncle while you're sending kids to get whacked by Opium Lords in Afghanistan. Wow, can Teskey ever turn on the waterworks, she's money Stevie! If the idiots back home eat this up, just wait 'til they see you guys fly into to Cyprus and save 10 dozen new Tory voters! Disrupting rescue operations? Oh, come on, the camera loves it baby!"

Breaking News: Cars the largest cause of car idling in Vancouver

Yesterday, City Council has passed a bylaw prohibiting the idling of automobiles. At the same time, the NPA set the stage for a huge intake of car traffic by green-lighting big box retail on Marine Drive.

That car traffic will more than likely be idling, since the selfish unethical mouthbreathers who shop at Wal-Mart will be waiting for other selfish unethical mouthbreathers to pull out of the parking spots closer to the store so they don't have to (gawd furbid) walk across the super-sized parking lot.


Isn't it great how easy it is to completely run over the concerns of the neighbourhood when your party gets donations from Wal-Mart's PR firm and the Mayor fires the Variance Board? This page never ceases to be amazed that for a guy in a wheelchair, Sam Sullivan is still able to get his head so far up his ass.

Light it up


This page asks: how many Israeli soldiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The answer is: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two for an excuse to level Beirut.

What? too soon? Not soon enough for 213 dead Lebanese and counting, plus the Israeli civillians killed in Hizbollah counterattacks.

All the Comforts of Home

This page and Walnut Boat had an anniversary-and-merlot fuelled outing in Victoria last weekend. Anytime one can dance to an African band in front of a Canadian government building next to an Irish pub with a crowd of Korean exchange students, one would think that this city goes out of its way to welcome the world. The hospitality industry in Victoria may think they have an international focus, but there's only one country whose travellers make them go out of the way to roll out the red, white and blue carpet. Our American neighbours stepped off the cruise ships, the Clipper and the Coho, strolled down to the Inner Harbour, and found themselves in a scene which one could only describe as the world's prettiest Wal-Mart.

Local merchants are still more than happy to accept U.S. currency at grovelling exchange rates, even though the Loonie has been working out lately. Security guards at the Bay Centre assured us that the lockers that used to be in their shopping centre were taken out because of 9-11*. Thanks, but one, we actually wanted a locker, and two, wearing a Seattle Mariners cap does not make me Captain America. For that role, I nominate the "singer" by the Empress Hotel who was performing Toby Keith covers, drowning out other buskers and snidely dismissing people who don't support "our" troops.

This page can certainly see the appeal of Victoria for many Americans: what better way to escape from the decline of the Bush Empire by sampling the maple sugar-coated leftovers of the British Empire?

*When I'm not wearing the Seattle Mariners cap, it turns out the lockers were taken out of the Bay Centre because it was a popular drop off for drug dealers.

Only Time Will Toll

The Greater Vancouver Regional District have been sharpening their political chops this week. Earlier this week the board passed a resolution 'supporting' the Gateway Project, but declined to endorse the two most controversial pieces of Kevin Falcon's Lego set from Hell: the twinning of the Port Mann bridge and the widening of Highway 1 into Vancouver.

Yesterday, the GVRD board began consideration of a proposal to charge tolls on all major bridges in the Lower Mainland. This page soundly endorses the proposal, and any other measures that push Greater Vancouver's pampered motorists closer to paying the true cost of driving. There are measures to reduce the region's dependency on automobiles that could certainly use the money.

Switching Channels


Forget LCD, this page has a TV with CBD - Crystal Ball Display. Let's do a little channel surfing and look at what Canadian TV will be like in the near future as the result of yesterday's Bell Globemedia - CHUM/City merger:

(Please note I spent so much on CBD that I can't afford digital cable, and the channel numbers apply to good ol' full service analog)

Ch. 9 (BC-CTV): CTV remains pretty much the same, but slowly becomes something of a Canadian CBS, with unchallenging programming for aging baby boomers. Grandpa Lloyd reads the evening news after a night of CSI: Minneapolis-St. Paul and Really Desperate Housewives simulcast from their American network feeds.

Ch. 12 (VITV): The A-Channels get flipped by CTV, and carry on depending on the strength of the local markets. In this case, expect more Vancouver Island than Vancouver, like it was with the New VI. Without their share of network ad revenue, the station runs B-movies in prime time and raises the price to be on Speaker's Corner to $20.

Ch. 13 (CityTV): It's CTV for baby boomer's kids. The evening newscast with Ben Mulroney and the pretensions of hipness are insufferable. Ed the Sock is tossed down the laundry chute by talking beavers Frank and Gordon. At least they didn't dump the Baby Blue Movies.

Ch. 30 (ESPN Canada): Formerly TSN, Bell plugs in the more recognizable brand, especially since repatriating the Monday Night Football ESPN simulcast from City. Lots of sports, but the big events (like Hockey Night in Canada) air on CTV. Brian Williams flies into a rage when the Toronto Blue Jays next World Series appearance goes to CTV and uses a FOX simulcast.

Ch. 40 (Bravo): Remember when A&E used to be ARTS and Entertainment, and had the ballet, the symphony, the opera, and other high-culture programming? Before Growing up Gotti and Dog the Bounty Hunter? Bravo either goes that way, or becomes the Canadian HBO.

Ch. 45 (Space): Space pretty much becomes the Fanboy Channel as several shows (Battlestar Galactica, Stargate SG1, Smallville, the 4400) are lifted and dropped into the CTV and City schedules. Since Vancouver produces more science fiction than Ralph Klein on Global Warming, Space can serve as a feeder for the Bell/Globe networks to maintain Canadian content.

Ch. 57 (Comedy): After gas prices jump to $2.50 a litre and interest rates start going up again, the Comedy Network drops its regular schedule and shows reruns from Report on Business Television. The laughs are bigger, but no one's sure if they're laughing with or laughing at ...

A Cup Half Empty

Yesterday Italy beat France 2-1 (5-3) on penalties to win the FIFA World Cup. While this page enjoyed watching the past month's worth of soccer, the spectacle yesterday on the big screen and in my neighbourhood near Commercial Drive left much to be desired.

This page enjoys soccer, and found his loyalties at this World Cup split between my Ukrainian heritage and the German family I married into. Coming from a generation that understands loyalty, I could appreciate the espresso-sipping pensiones enjoying Italy's win. However, I have nothing but disdain for the bandwagon-jumping juveniles whose passion for the Azurri dates back to when France knocked out Brazil in the semi-finals. These would be the ones who wear Yankees caps and have no clue who Roger Maris is, or for that matter, Derk Jeter. They care more who wins 'Idol' or 'Top Model' than the next election. Their parents bitch the ears off University enrollment officers because these precious little darlings can't get the courses they want.


This crowd gets to yell and scream in the street uninhibited and unintimidated because they bought the 'right' soccer jersey. When I was that age, I jumped on a few bandwagons, like fair contracts, human rights, action on climate change, and a woman's right to choose. This page can say with a great deal of certainty that Authourity treats a picket sign much differently than they do a plastic car flag. For those of you scoring at home, there were more live remotes on local TV from Commercial Drive yesterday than there were four years ago when over 50,000 British Columbians shut down Victoria to protest the vicious agenda of the Campbell Liberals.

Also that year, Korea had a stunning run to the semifinals at the World Cup. In Vancouver, hundreds of Korean ESL students poured into the streets of the West End to celebrate. This page questions whether or not anyone around here watching the fixtures over the past few weeks noticed FIFA's "Say No to Racism" banner, given that the Italian celebrations were described as "beautiful" and "lively", whereas the Koreans were a "disturbance" and "a nuisance".

All things considered, and despite a few misgivings about the new stadium proposal, this page would much prefer to take in a real, live Whitecaps match than subject myself to the toxic mix of television and tribalism that appears to be the World Cup in Vancouver.

One final question: what did Materazzi say to Zidane to induce Zidane's head butt? Given how much was made about a North African Muslim leading France's team, this page can't help but think the race card was successfully exchanged for a red card...

Passport to trouble

While the U.S. Congress tries to bolster their electoral fortunes with America's paranoid, the focus on border security has completely blindsided common sense. Not only do mandatory passports for crossing the Canada-U.S. border cause irreparable damage to trade and tourism (approximately 80% of Americans don't have a passport), they also create a market for stolen passports.

This begs the question as to which is actually more secure: A driver's license or photo ID that someone will cling to for dear life because they need it to get behind the wheel or into the liquor store, or a document that's useless until you leave the country, carries an unsmiling portrait, and isn't even stamped when it reaches the U.S.?

So...I'm NOT a left-wing anti-semite with no respect for human life?


In recent days, this page has trundled down to the front door of his building, gathered his copy of the Globe & Mail, and endured a non-stop harranguing tirade by association. As regular visitors to the show are aware, I am a member of the Canadian Union of Public Employees. This page is also (despite having abandoned organized religion years ago) a registered member of the United Church of Canada.

I don't agree with the United Church about a lot of things, and the UC minister who this page is related to is cool with that. However, this page very much does agree with them joining CUPE Ontario in the international boycott against Israel. To the rabid Canwest Global Zionists and the intellectually challenged at the Globe like Margaret Wente and Christie Blatchford, CUPE and the United Church are Canada's new Axis of Evil.

To refute a few of the bleatings from the Israel-can-do-no-wrong crowd: This page is fully aware that Hamas don't exactly have their hands clean either, but their hands aren't on the world's fourth largest military. Israel retains the right to defend itself, but do they have the right to violate the Geneva Convention by systematically punishing all Palestinians? It's also a little annoying to read and hear how CUPE doesn't call down other regimes besides Israel. Having chaired a Political Action Committee for one of Canada's largest unions, this page knows full well that the media flat out doesn't care how much one bleats about East Timor, Myanamar, El Salvador, Darfur, or even Tibet. If it bleeds, it leads - but only if it involves America's best pals in the Middle East.

Fortunately, there are some people who are not CUPE or UC members who also don't completely buy Israel as the victim here. Hopefully, more of them will speak up before the tanks have rolled too far across the West Bank and Gaza, lest all voices of reason be drowned out by Tel Aviv's cry of "Look what you made us do!"

American Democracy: 1776-2006

After the Florida Recount, Redistricting, and Diebold, this page was certain that Republicans had done everything they could to save Americans from free and fair elections.

A more fatal blow, however, has been struck by Southern GOP Congressmen by not doing anything at all.

Double-Tall Bullsh*tachino

Once again, The Mermaid is finely grinding the rights of its Vancouver employees and serving them at annoyingly high prices. A couple of years ago, the Mermaid fired an employee at her Commercial Drive location because of what she wore on her ears. This time, she's under fire for taking one of her workers to task because that worker's ears don't work.

The Mermaid doesn't miss a trick when it comes to public relations. When the Canadian Auto Workers were organizing Vancouver locations three years ago, she successfully played the victim and swam deftly around the Labour Code by closing unionized locations (like Denman & Nelson Street) and opening non-union stores nearby (like Denman & Davie Street, two blocks away).

In the case of the current Human Rights complaint, Starbucks says they won't comment on pending or current litigation. However, that didn't them from prejudicing the BC Human Rights Commission (and the Globe and Mail) with all the PR bumpf about "embracing diversity" they poured out like so much bullsh*tachino.

Parksville Pursues Puck Prognosticator's Pushy Patriotism and Punts Parade Prudence

This page has determined that a restraining order needs to be issued to cable and satellite TV companies to prevent them from broadcasting Hockey Night in Canada to Parksville, BC. Just a couple of weeks after Don Cherry (who one of this page's friends in Philadelphia refers to as the love child of Harry Carey and Rush Limbaugh) was flogging his 'support the troops' merchandise on Coach's Corner, the Parksville Chamber of Commerce thought this would be an ideal fundraiser for the town's Canada Day Parade.

People who listen to Cherry's off-topic ravings develop an immunity to common sense, tolerance, and understanding the English language. If this page was a merchant in Parksville, I'd be withholding my Chamber of Commerce dues from people stupid enough to ignore what "Support our Troops" means in the polarized, Harper-Bush might makes right world of 2006. Canada's military aren't the friendly peacekeepers in blue berets anymore, they're pawn-shaped fodder for the pipeline ambitions of the Mujahadeen...er...Afghan provisional government and the Bush Administration.

This one's about oil too, stupid. And heroin. Wearing a 'Supprt our Troops' T-shirt to a Canada Day parade makes as much sense as Grand Marshall Anne Coulter waving from a NASCAR car.

White is the Colour...Sucker is the Game...

The Vancouver Whitecaps are into stoppage time as they try to score a new waterfront stadium in Gastown.

A number of community activists oppose a stadium being built on top of the existing railyards near the SeaBus terminal, but this page is concerned that despite their good intentions, (mixing metaphors in 5...4...3...) they amount to pawns being manipulated by Vancouver's real estate overlords. The arguments agaisnt the stadium aren't resonating because they're not really based in fact: How disruptive to Gastown residents can stadium events be when Gastown has almost no residents? How does the stadium deprive people of a waterfront view when the waterfront is concealed by Gastown itself? The stadium would give a waterfront view to 15,000 people at a time. How many people would get an ocean view from overpriced condominiums on the same site?

There are some practical arguments against rushing to build a wee waterway Wembley. Even if Greg Kerfoot is ponying up his own dough to bake this bread, will he still be good for it once construction costs run up against the Olympic venues, the Canada Line, and the Gateway Project, not to mention the perpetually sprouting condo crops around town? Everybody wants everything at once (at least before the five-ring reckoning of 2010), but there's only so many bricks and bricklayers around.

Also, it's not like the Whitecaps are a franchise that would evoke wailing and gnashing of teeth if they skipped town. These are not your Dad's (or your older brother's) Whitecaps. This is a team in the minor-pro, semi-amateur United Soccer Leagues who adopted the Whitecaps name to stir up memories of Vancouver's brush with soccer greatness in the 1979 NASL Soccer Bowl. Kerfoot knows his marketing, and it's not a surprise that the soccer stadium is coming to a head during the FIFA World Cup. Is there that serious an appetite for soccer in Vancouver? At the least there's a serious appetite for drunken flag waving and horn honking on Commercial Drive which looks like a serious appetite for soccer. That perception of momentum might allow the Whitecaps to set the offside trap for stadium opponents and break ground, or something above ground, relatively soon.

Testing, testing....










The bear604 show: now with the power of something to look at.

F.U. to the U.N.

The assault on Brazilian youth delegates at the World Urban Forum on Wednesday is still aggravating this page. While I used the assault as an opportunity to post the antidemocratic rap sheet of the NPA (City Hall sponsored the Forum), that outburst masks a greater outrage.

Until the assault, the public did not know that security for the World Urban Forum was the exclusive jurisdiction of the United Nations, and was administered by security officers from New York and Nairobi, Kenya. According to UN spokesman Sharad Shankardass, the Vancouver Convention Centre is technically not part of Canada for the duration of the World Urban Forum.

This abrogation of soverignty and the Charter of Rights of Freedoms without notice is outrageous, immoral, disgusting, reprehensible, evil, terrifying, stupid...and WRONG. For an organization allegedly committed to preventing war, UN staff assaulting young people for bringing T-shirts with that very message equates to Kofi Anan wiping his ass with the UN Charter. Whoever among the government organizers who felt it was O.K. for a week-long UN dictatorship to overlook Coal Harbour should apologize and resign.

With the 2010 Olympics less than four years away, Vancouverites and the people who govern us need to take a good, hard look at ourselves and our shared values of free speech and democratic tolerance. These values do not exist in abrogated multinational "security zones", and the first, best thing City Council could do would be to ban security zones. Either the United Nations, the International Olympic Committee and other international organziations either agree to conduct their business in Vancouver according to Canadian law, or they can take their business elsewhere.

So long delegates!

It appears that the World Urban Forum is subject to the same fascism masquerading as security we saw at the WTO, the G8, and any other 'global' gathering where dissenting opinions are equated to terrorism. Incidents like these give this page the impression that this is more of United States - influenced event than a United Nations - sponsored one.

This page was planning to take in some of the events at the Forum's urban festival, but I am now unloading a hearty "up yours" to the whole affair. If the U.N. is bringing this kind of fascism to Vancouver, just imagine what our friends at the International Olympic Committee have in store for us come February 2010.

Welcome delegates!

Over 6,000 delegates are attending the World Urban Forum in Vancouver this week.

To those of you who came to this city in the hope of finding examples from Vancouver of how to make your cities more sustainable, this page offers a sincere apology and certainly shares in your disappointment.

Perhaps this city could still serve to educate you with a few illustrations of how not to establish a liveable and sustainable city. I strongly encourage you to look past the speeches, workshops, and pre-packaged propaganda, and examine how the right-wing 'Non-Partisan' Association (NPA) really runs Vancouver:

-The NPA regards affordable housing as a nuisance to their real estate developer friends rather than a fundamental human right.

-The NPA looks for ways to sneak more automobile traffic into a highly congested downtown core by putting 'flex' lanes on major transit arteries like Granville Mall.

-The NPA does not stand up to senior governments in Victoria and Ottawa on issues that threaten Vancouver's quality of life, such as The Gateway Project.

-The NPA, however, is more happy to do the bidding of foreign governments to suppress democratic rights, like when local members of Falun Gong were rounded up because City Hall didn't like the aesthetics of their protest camp.

-The NPA considers Wal-Mart a good corporate citizen and has no problems with Vancouver breaking its own zoning rules to turn Marine Drive into a parking lot and run out small businesses on the city's south side to accomodate a Wal-Mart.

During the week, you may have the opportunity to raise these issues with Vancouver city officials, perhaps even City Councillors or even the Mayor. If you do get a chance to meet Mayor Sam Sullivan, do this page a favour and ask him how his friend James Green is doing these days.

An important message from the Department of Home Game Security

The bad news is, it appears Canada doesn't have enough armed forces to cover security for the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

The good news is, of course, if there was ever an excuse to get the troops out of Afghanistan...

NPA gets on the bus

City Council has finally taken a look a couple of blocks northward and noticed the crawling bus service on Vancouver's busiest transit artery. This page still dreams of a fixed light rail link that would run along Broadway and plough its way through the richie-rich NIMBY mansions of Point Grey on its way to UBC, but this is a start at least.

However, for those of you scoring at home, there are already meagre parking prohibitions in place along Broadway during rush hours. Unless Council is willing to do the smart thing and ban parking altogether on Broadway, not that much will change.

The Wrath of Hahn

BC Ferries President & CEO David Hahn is one vicious little idiot. Rather than let the Transportation Safety Board do its job investigating the March 22 sinking of the Queen of the North, Ghengis Hahn is opting to conduct his own personal witch hunt, threatening to fire and suspend any crew members who don't submit to his inquisition.

For those of you scoring at home, many of the crew members have been advised by their union's lawyers not to discuss the incident with anyone outside the official investigation. Others are on medical leaves under psychiatric care: these ones would be ideal for Hahn to crack open a confession to stroke his overinflatable ego, which was severely punctured for his inability to count to 101 three months ago.

Attila the Hahn believes that BC Ferries must gather the information themselves, and quickly. The Ferry boss even claims it will take the TSB "three years" to release the results of its inquiry. Wow, Dave, where does the time go? This page doesn't believe Hahn is as worried about the time it takes to release information as he is about the information being released. He can't let the truth about the sinking of one ship get in the way of the BC Liberals' course of privatization and running the entire fleet aground.

What's my motivation?

This page returns from family business in Minnesota and is expected to be excited about a few things, which frankly, don't stir much of anything in me. Here are a few examples:

Eagleridge Bluffs - When Vancouver's 2010 Olympic bid committee first tackled bringing people to and from Whistler, their plan incorporated a mix of ferries, buses, and passenger rail. Did the NIMBYs in West Vancouver not get a noxious whiff of trouble when that plan was trashed to fuel the BC Liberals pavement addiction? At least the Bluffs had something resembling an environmental assessment before the tree huggers come lately were shooed back to their monster houses which ate up a lot of pristine North Shore woodlands themselves.

Same Sex Marriage - The Harpercons will table a free voting motion sometime this fall to re-open the debate on SSM. While on the surface such a motion may be incendiary for progressives, the real objective for the Prime Minister is to establish closure on the issue before the next election. The Stockwell Days and Myron Thompsons will get to scream and yell, the Jim Prentices will get to shrug about how the country has moved on, the motion will fail miserably, and Harper will have cleared the deck of at least one sticky piece of social policy.

The Edmonton Oilers - They're not 'Canada's Team', they're Edmonton's team. The Oilers play an entertaining brand of tough, fast hockey, but North Carolina is by no means Afghanistan. This page never ceases to be bemused by hockey fans who switch from their favourite team to a hated rival because they want the Stanley Cup to rest in Canada, no matter how many Europeans or Americans suit up for the team. Face it, you didn't see Cubs fans adopting the White Sox last fall just because they're from Chicago.

E-Day plus 365

A year ago today, Gordon Campbell and the BC Liberals won a second majority, and lost 31 seats. Last week, a Mustel Group poll had the Liberals at 54% to 37% for the NDP.

A 13 point lead despite Olympic cost overruns, Kevin Falcon's freeway bullying, cutting funding to emergency rooms, and still not addressing classroom sizes could mean a few things. One thing is that the polite, pick-your-spots approach the NDP has taken in the legislature isn't resonating with the voters. Another thing is that after the Liberals handed out signing bonus to public sector workers, the labour movement isn't mobilized to take on these kind of issues as they did in the Campbell's first term.

Or, it could be that no one's paying attention and it's getting close to summer, making this the useless kind of double-digit lead. The beaches may open this weekend, but the unfortunately for the Liberals, the polls don't for another three years.

Of course, the Basi-Virk trial has to open sometime...

Where's my torpedo?

Last week, BC Ferries announced the names of its three new vessels that will serve the Tswassen - Swartz Bay and Horseshoe Bay - Departure Bay beginning in 2008. This page doesn't get seasick, but I did become severely ill at the names Coastal Renaissance, Coastal Inspiration, and Coastal Celebration.

"Renaissance?" "Inspiration?" "Celebration?" BC Ferries is supposed to be the maritime extension of this province's highway system, not a f**king cruise ship line. Does anyone remember when the ferries were actually named after places in BRITISH COLUMBIA? This name-the-ferries competition is little more than a distraction from the fact that BC shipbuilders were shut out of the bidding process to build these ships. Built in Germany, named in BC - there's a postive economic impact.

Slapping a coat of bullsh*t corporate whitewash on the fleet's three new vessels shows just how little 'BC' there is in BC Ferries. Privatization has meant longer sailing waits, labour disruptions, safety failures, and higher fares. All David Hahn and his minions can do is mull over more asinine schemes to extort revenue and keep tarnishing a once-reliable brand. Here's an idea: next time build the ferries in BC, and let the Germans name them: This page would have no problem boarding the Fahre fur die Leute.

Going...going...

There is something just odd about sportscasters bitching about Barry Bonds using performance-enhancing drugs to pass Babe Ruth on the career home runs list....then cutting to a commercial for Viagra.

This page has seen it, what? About three times in the last four days?

B.S.B.S. - Bumper Sticker Bull ...

Here are a few bumper stickers I've had the (mis)fortune of coming across recently:

"Visualize World Peace"
You put this on a motor vehicle, while at the same time thousands have died in Iraq to secure a convenient supply of petroleum for that vehicle. Get your eyes checked.

"A Woman without a Man is like a Fish without a Bicycle"
I don't know about femminists, but the only place for surrealists is in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.

"What would Jesus do?"
I'm sure that whenever Jesus was stuck, he didn't ask "What would Moses do?" At least The Da Vinci Code answers "Who did Jesus do?"

"If I can't dance, then I don't want to be part of your revolution"
If I can't run from the army and the police when they start shooting because I'm too tired from dancing, then I don't want to be part of YOUR revolution.

"You can't hug children with nuclear arms"
You can't spank them with weapons grade plutonium either.

Does the transit tax break go anywhere?

Among the transparent vote-buying goodies in this week's Conservative budget is a 15.5% tax credit for transit riders who buy a monthly pass. In addition, the government pledged $1.3 billion for public transit infrastructure.

However, the CPC plan to get public transit moving has a couple of bumps in the road. First of all, the money for the tax credit is being siphoned from existing climate change programs. Secondly, $1.3 billion is not a lot of money to share around every public transit system in the country, especially when Vancouver's Translink and the Toronto Transit Commission have major expansion projects underway.

For the tax credit to work, the infrastructure credit has to exceed projected increases in ridership, including those not precipitated by a tax credit on monthly passes. Otherwise, the vicious circle of fare increases and service cuts will once again leave transit users wanting to get off.

2010 = 86: Wrong Answer

This week the local mediots are full of warm fuzzies about the 20th anniversary of Vancouver's Expo 86. This page was nowhere near Vancouver at the time, but it appears from what the World's Fair left behind, Expo ushered in a golden age of overpriced condos, a white elephant rapid transit system, a stadium no one likes going to, and highway tolls in perpetuity.

Yesterday, former Premier Bill Bennett (who's real claim to fame is being only one of two BC Premiers who had a General Strike on his watch), came out of hiding to rally our corporate overlords to try and generate the same kind of excitement for the 2010 Olympics that there apparently was for Expo 86. The big problem in that line of thinking, of course, is that a World's Fair and a Winter Olympics are two completely different events.

An Expo lasts six months, and is geared towards people coming to see it in person. An Olympics lasts two weeks, and is pretty much a television event with the crowds in the stands as glorified extras. A well run Expo produces economic spinoffs for its host city, while the profits from an Olympics are skimmed by the 'Olympic Family' of corporate sponsors and pseudo-royalty who make up the International Olympic Committee.

There may be good arguments that the likes of Bennett and Jimmy Pattison did a good job of putting on a show two decades ago, but Expo 86 was lightning (that struck a lot of homeless people) in a bottle. Nostalgia won't find construction workers, clear the protesters from Eagle Ridge Bluffs, or get an arena deal with GM Place any time soon.